It's been a long time since I've updated. I think a total of 3 people ever read this, and those are people who know what's going on anyway, so I haven't worried too much.

-After all many different ways of tossing friends and family around with our erratic wedding plans and paperwork issues and scheduling issues and technicalities, the wedding is going on as scheduled!!! 17 days and counting. We're having a casual barbeque with the agreement that, "If you can make it... thank you. If you can't... we understand and thanks for thinking of us."

-I'm now living the dream I have always wanted to live: stay-at-home-mom. Yeah, other dreams are more glamorous, and being a celebrity nightclub bouncer was fun, but nothing compares to feeling you are really doing everything you can as a parent.
(To all other parents, "everything you can" is different for every different family... this is just what I feel my family needs.)
I no longer need to worry about getting fired for taking off from work to pick up my sick kid from school, or declining nighttime shifts because someone needs to help my son with his homework. I can concentrate on discipline and have it be my first priority... not my 8th. And especially, I don't need to rely on someone else to do MY job!
The ironic thing: the reason I'm no longer employed is because the security company of 4.5 years employment let me go because, now that I'm again in a two-parent household, I no longer feel it's ok to spend even 70 hours a week at work when my family is waiting at home for me. They felt otherwise and said that "now that I have a 'sugardaddy,' I can afford to sit on my ass." Ok, that's a matter of perspective, but... yes, I can.

-I'm doing Atkins... I know, it's not healthy... but 3 weeks of it isn't going to hurt me too much. I'm also doing significant workouts daily. In the first 8 days, I lost 7 lbs, and the next weekly weigh-in is on Friday. After the wedding, I'll be adding in the fruits and complex carbs, but attempting to exercise as often. I wouldn't need to lose so much if I hadn't allowed myself to relax and enjoy life as much... Russ and I both show love with food, and I have gained 30 lbs since I met him. (But before I met him, I also had a bad habit of going to sleep early, before the hunger set in, so I could save the food for the kids.)

-I'm actively researching ways to earn money while allowing me to also take care of the family. If I was to work outside the home, I would need two 1.5-hour periods a day off to take the kids to/from school, with 5.5 hours in between, and I would also need to either be home at night or be able to take the kids with me to work. Imagine this... nobody has a position for me. I put my application in as an on-call babysitter at the gym, since I can take the kids there while I'm working. She doesn't need anyone right now, but says she probably will in a few weeks. It pays just enough for me to help Russ get us into an apartment with one more bedroom so the kids can each have their own.
Other ways of earning money: We're doing online research on how to get my licence to be a loan officer and to do BPOs for realtors. I can earn about $90 per BPO, which takes 1-3 hours to do on my home computer. I'm also considering selling Avon, but I really doubt I would have the clientele, and I have a serious problem with knocking on random doors to peddle lipstick.

-We were planning on moving to Bishop, CA so Russ can be closer to work and not travel 500 miles per week to be with his family. It's a dream town (3,500 people) with dream schools (rated best in the nation in 2003) and dream scenery (elevation 4500 ft with sharp rise to 10,000 ft mountain peaks). We could settle down and concentrate on raising a family the way we feel it would be best to raise them, like having a dad at home every night and a mom to take care of most of the needs. But unfortunately, Grant is putting up a huge stink. He refuses to let the kids leave Reno and is threatening to do evil things if I do... and Russ isn't happy that some other man (who did the things to me that Russ KNOWS he did) is keeping him from moving on. But Russ also admits that he knew it would be tough if he married me... and he wanted me anyway. So we're dealing with it. The really sucky thing is that Grant's attitude is keeping Russ from getting his PhD and therefore severely hampering our family growth potential.

If you have taken the time to read this, thanks. Things are overall great! We're making sacrifices in some areas and getting rewards in others. But life is so far improved from what it has been for 10 years. The only thing I would change (and even I admit regret is the most useless feeling ever) is that I had married Russ in the first place. That way, maybe I could have avoided some of life's crap. But then again, 10 years ago... neither of us were the people that we are now, and we probably would never have hooked up.

-And last of all, the new and improved way to get kids to eat their food:
We have a shaker-style spice bottle with the label "Magic Grow Powder." Guaranteed to make you grow faster! The contents: table salt. Hey... it works.